I can't believe in a few short hours I will start this crazy run. I also can't believe that it's just 5am and I am eating breakfast. Oatmeal with soy milk and bananas, yum.
I'm not really nervous. Yes, I have small butterflies, but not overwhelming moths in my stomach. The months of training will all pay off today. The exhaustion of getting up early on the weekends will all pay off today. All of the fundraising and all of the support will push me through the difficult parts of my run today.
I am grateful for all of the support, both financial and emotional. Who would have thought that I would ever be able to run a marathon??
I leave my readers with this last thought: Today, I set out to conquer the Boston Marathon and help researchers and scientists conquer cancer. Today, I honor all of those who have battled this disease and all those who will. Today, I set out to do the impossible. Today, I offer you this: Do something that scares you. Do the impossible. Because nothing is impossible.
I hope to see you on the course.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
1 Day and counting
Less than 24 hours from now, I will be waiting downtown with my fellow teammates for the bus to take us out to Hopkinton. I'll be getting up at the crack of dawn to pull myself out of bed and meet the rest of the DFMCers at the Marriott. From there we will head over to the "limos" (big yellow school buses) which will whisk us away to Hopkinton, where we will wait in the church for our team picture and to set up in the corrals.
People keep telling me what an amazing experience this will be. I've received all types of suggestions on what to bring and wear. Tomorrow, I will go to Hopkinton prepared for all types of weather. I will bring a disposable camera to take pictures in the church. I will not run with it. I will let my memory be my camera. I will meditate. I will have several conversations with my father. I will drink lots of water. I will anxiously await seeing my Mom, Sister and boyfriend right around the Newton Fire Station. I will kick heartbreaks a** with the help of Chet. I will see Susan and Marisa at the bottom of the hills and have their support to run the rest of the way in. I will enjoy the scenery on route. I will enjoy hearing the screaming fans. I will listen to my body. I will chat with my fellow runners. I will drink water at every water stop. I will eat lots of gu. I will look up at the camera and smile proudly when I cross the finish line.
Tomorrow, I will run the Boston Marathon.
People keep telling me what an amazing experience this will be. I've received all types of suggestions on what to bring and wear. Tomorrow, I will go to Hopkinton prepared for all types of weather. I will bring a disposable camera to take pictures in the church. I will not run with it. I will let my memory be my camera. I will meditate. I will have several conversations with my father. I will drink lots of water. I will anxiously await seeing my Mom, Sister and boyfriend right around the Newton Fire Station. I will kick heartbreaks a** with the help of Chet. I will see Susan and Marisa at the bottom of the hills and have their support to run the rest of the way in. I will enjoy the scenery on route. I will enjoy hearing the screaming fans. I will listen to my body. I will chat with my fellow runners. I will drink water at every water stop. I will eat lots of gu. I will look up at the camera and smile proudly when I cross the finish line.
Tomorrow, I will run the Boston Marathon.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
And the number is.......22004
22004.Yes, that's right. That is the number I will proudly be sporting on Monday. I received my number a few weeks ago during my "funk". I didn't write about it then, but I realize with only a few days to go I need to write about my number and what it means to me.
I would like to start by saying I owe this blog post to Lindsey. Lindsey and I have a special bond -at least I think so. We are both tribe members, both have gastrointestinal issues, and both lost someone we love to cancer within the last year. Lindsey is running for her aunt who passed away about a week before my father. I saw Lindsey on the one year anniversary of her aunt's passing and did not understand how I would feel one week later. Lindsey reached out to me on the anniversary of my father's death after having only met me a few times.
When we received out numbers, she was the first person to message me. She sent me a gchat and was so pumped. Lindsey will proudly be wearing 22018. A number to celebrate our Jewish heritage.
I was in my funk when we got our numbers and I was skeptical to look. I thought there is no way I could possibly have gotten my number: and there is was looking me in the face: 4. Four has been my soccer number since high school. If I couldn't wear four, I wanted to wear a multiple of four or a number that had four in it. Something at that moment was a sign that this is what I am supposed to do.
What does four mean? There are four seasons, four directions, four elements. Four represent solidity, calmness, and home. Four is the only number in the English language for which the number of letters in its name is equal to the number itself. It is a number of grounding.
It also seems important to mention that the Marathon falls two days after Passover starts this year. Four is a significant number for Passover:
The Four Cups.
The Four Questions .
The Four Sons to be dealt with on Passover.
The Four Expressions of Redemption to be said on Passover.
And finally my favorite one: In soccer, number 4 is often assigned to a centre back and a number of luck (which is the position I player in high school).
(for more on four visit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4_(number)
Why I continue to wear the number four and love that number so much will remain a mystery. But as luck and fate would have it, I will be proudly sporting 22004 on Monday.
I would like to start by saying I owe this blog post to Lindsey. Lindsey and I have a special bond -at least I think so. We are both tribe members, both have gastrointestinal issues, and both lost someone we love to cancer within the last year. Lindsey is running for her aunt who passed away about a week before my father. I saw Lindsey on the one year anniversary of her aunt's passing and did not understand how I would feel one week later. Lindsey reached out to me on the anniversary of my father's death after having only met me a few times.
When we received out numbers, she was the first person to message me. She sent me a gchat and was so pumped. Lindsey will proudly be wearing 22018. A number to celebrate our Jewish heritage.
I was in my funk when we got our numbers and I was skeptical to look. I thought there is no way I could possibly have gotten my number: and there is was looking me in the face: 4. Four has been my soccer number since high school. If I couldn't wear four, I wanted to wear a multiple of four or a number that had four in it. Something at that moment was a sign that this is what I am supposed to do.
What does four mean? There are four seasons, four directions, four elements. Four represent solidity, calmness, and home. Four is the only number in the English language for which the number of letters in its name is equal to the number itself. It is a number of grounding.
It also seems important to mention that the Marathon falls two days after Passover starts this year. Four is a significant number for Passover:
The Four Cups.
The Four Questions .
The Four Sons to be dealt with on Passover.
The Four Expressions of Redemption to be said on Passover.
And finally my favorite one: In soccer, number 4 is often assigned to a centre back and a number of luck (which is the position I player in high school).
(for more on four visit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4_(number)
Why I continue to wear the number four and love that number so much will remain a mystery. But as luck and fate would have it, I will be proudly sporting 22004 on Monday.
The Biggest Loser and The Biggest Winner
While Brenda and I were both injured, we seemed to always find ourselves at the gym pounding away on the arc trainer on Tuesday nights. It was one of the first times that we worked out together that I realized that we would be friends for life (at least I hope). It was a Tuesday when the Biggest Loser came on. I sheepishly asked her if it was ok if we talked during the commercials and watched the show. To my surprise, Brenda said she liked the show also. We have been watching together or at least talking about it ever since.
On Tuesday, we went to Brenda's place to watch the finale. We chatted as we watched the show and cheered on our favorite contestants (I was especially excited when Bernie won the player-at-home money).
As the Finale neared the trainers got up to speak. Jillian was asked how important it was for the winner this year to be a woman. Her response struck a cord with both Brenda and I. "Make impossible your favorite word. Welcome the challenge because when you bring your heart and mind to your intention there's nothing that you can't accomplish."
On Monday, I will take on this challenge with all 500+ of my DFMC teammates by my side. My heart and mind will be thinking about my father and my grandmother, as well as all of the people who have faced cancer. When my IT Band aches I will focus on the goal of raising money for cancer. I will focus on the goal of achieving the impossible. I will look into the smiling faces of all the amazing people I have met. I will see my mom before the hills and tell her I love her. I will not let Heartbreak hill break me. I will cross that finish line with my arms raised proudly and a smile on my face. I will make the impossible happen on Monday, April 21, 2008.
On Tuesday, we went to Brenda's place to watch the finale. We chatted as we watched the show and cheered on our favorite contestants (I was especially excited when Bernie won the player-at-home money).
As the Finale neared the trainers got up to speak. Jillian was asked how important it was for the winner this year to be a woman. Her response struck a cord with both Brenda and I. "Make impossible your favorite word. Welcome the challenge because when you bring your heart and mind to your intention there's nothing that you can't accomplish."
On Monday, I will take on this challenge with all 500+ of my DFMC teammates by my side. My heart and mind will be thinking about my father and my grandmother, as well as all of the people who have faced cancer. When my IT Band aches I will focus on the goal of raising money for cancer. I will focus on the goal of achieving the impossible. I will look into the smiling faces of all the amazing people I have met. I will see my mom before the hills and tell her I love her. I will not let Heartbreak hill break me. I will cross that finish line with my arms raised proudly and a smile on my face. I will make the impossible happen on Monday, April 21, 2008.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Food for thought.....
By this time next Monday, I will have already run at least 6-9 miles (depending when I cross the start line) of the 112th Boston Marathon. Deep Breath....
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Welcome to Hopkinton
I decided today to do something that I had debated for awhile: drive the marathon route from Hopkinton into Boston. Chet agreed to take the journey with me and drove the Mini out to Hopkinton. The weather was sprinkling, windy, and cold when we left, but as we got on the Pike (the Mass Pike-route 90) a sliver of sunshine looked down on the car. I looked around for a rainbow but could not find one. As we were driving out to Hopkinton, I felt as if maybe we were not supposed to take the trip: there was an accident on the exit ramp we needed to take, Chet and I kept arguing about stupid things (sorry to air our dirty laundry), and the weather was not cooperating. Somehow we made it out there, in one piece, and we began our journey.
The Boston Marathon start line is the smallest start line of any marathon: 39 feet across. When Chet and I drove up to it, I had to ask is this really it? I looked around at the sites of Hopkinton: the cemetery to the left, One Ash Street ahead, and the World War 1 memorial on the right. We began our journey.
We looked for spots that would be easy for my family friends to watch me run. I noticed that there is a hill about 1 mile after you start. Chet noticed the mile markers on the roads (on the median lines) and even some water stop signs. I found out the Framingham is a little bit more industrial than I expected. I was struck by how cute downtown Natick is. We drove through the "tunnel of love" (Wellesley College). We stopped and had lunch in Wellesley at Rosie's Bakery. We drove past the Woodland T-stop and I finally got my bearings. I finally had a chance to figure out where the JOhnny Kelly Statue is.
Through this all I had a small sense of anxiety, but more excitement. I wasn't overwhelmed but more noticing what I would need to do. Surprisingly, Chet stated he wanted to run the hills with me. I definitely accepted the offer.
We decided that my friends Marisa and Susan (who are flying all the way out from California!!) should meet me at the Haunted Mile to run the rest of the way in. As Chet and I turned the corner to head towards Cleveland Circle, he asked whether or not I wanted to drive all the way to the finish line. I did not hesitate with my answer. I want the first time I cross that line to be on marathon day. Yes, I have run parallel to it when I've mentioned crossing it, but never "ACROSS" it. I want that to my first experience. I want it to be memorable. I want it to be the best experience ever.
Chet and I arrived home after a long drive and I laced up my running shoes. AS I got ready to do one of my last runs before the marathon, I noticed the sun shining brightly through our windows. Despite the cold and the wind. I ran 6 miles. It wasn't perfect and was honestly a little hard. I'm ok with that because in a week, I will have the most amazing run of my life. No matter what my finish time or if I finish, it will be the most amazing run of my life.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Finding my zen
Reading through my past posts, one thing I noticed was how scared I have been about this upcoming adventure. I've been scared about completing it. I've been worried about my fitness level and at times I have questioned why I am doing this.
This past week all those fears have dissipated. I've truly reached a state of zen. I'm so excited to do this race and I know that there is nothing else that will prepare me to finish. I've worked out as hard as I can. I've done a good job fundraising. I've met amazing people.
I'm at peace with this whole adventure. I've had a great run (pun completely intended) and I am ready to see the finish line. I am ready to do the impossible and "Dream the impossible Dream". I am ready to conquer the hills. I'm ready for the sweat, the blood, and the tears (ok maybe not the blood). I'm ready to proudly wear my Dana-Farber bib and I'm excited to proudly wear number 22004 (more on that later).
I am ready for the 112th Boston Marathon.
This past week all those fears have dissipated. I've truly reached a state of zen. I'm so excited to do this race and I know that there is nothing else that will prepare me to finish. I've worked out as hard as I can. I've done a good job fundraising. I've met amazing people.
I'm at peace with this whole adventure. I've had a great run (pun completely intended) and I am ready to see the finish line. I am ready to do the impossible and "Dream the impossible Dream". I am ready to conquer the hills. I'm ready for the sweat, the blood, and the tears (ok maybe not the blood). I'm ready to proudly wear my Dana-Farber bib and I'm excited to proudly wear number 22004 (more on that later).
I am ready for the 112th Boston Marathon.
Friday, April 4, 2008
A great run
What defines a great run? A long run? A fast run?
For me, a great run is being able to run. After being injured for so long, being able to get in even a few pain-free miles is a great run.
April 2, 2008: My run started out with my Mom dropping me at the cemetery to visit my Dad. Another DFMC runner had said he always stopped at the cemetery when he ran so as to remember why he was running with DFMC. I walked up to his grave and noticed that the flowers my Mom left him on St. Patrick's day were still there. The red roses and the green carnation bleed into the moist ground. I spoke to my Dad for a few minutes and asked him for strength. Strength to do my best that day. Strength to run the best run I can on Marathon Monday. After a few minutes, I realized it was time to leave. I knew if I stayed longer I would never be able to run. I knew the tears would overwhelm me (as well as the cold wind). I started my run doing a combination run/walk. My first few miles flew by and before I knew it I was at my Dad's office. I stopped at my Dad's office only briefly to say hello, get some water and blow my nose. As I started my run again, I realized that stopping may not have been the best idea. I was cold, but knew I had a few more miles to run to get home. I ran the "beach way", the road that leads to my house that follows Long Island Sound. My Dad and Mom would always ask us which way we wanted to go. Without fail, we always said the beach way. I ran past the cottage my Mom, Dad, sister, and dog lived in when my father burned down our kitchen. I ran....
When I neared my house, I realized I wasn't done running. I continued to follow the road towards the golf course. At one point I heard a woman comment on the fact I was wearing shorts (she may have used the word crazy). Another 1.5 miles and I was near my house. I ran the last 15 minutes straight through and ended up running 8.5 miles.
I visited all of my Dad's favorite places. I know my Dad was with me during my run, just as I know he will be there on Monday, April 21st. I know he is always with me, giving me the inner strength I need to succeed in everything I do: even conquering a marathon.
For me, a great run is being able to run. After being injured for so long, being able to get in even a few pain-free miles is a great run.
April 2, 2008: My run started out with my Mom dropping me at the cemetery to visit my Dad. Another DFMC runner had said he always stopped at the cemetery when he ran so as to remember why he was running with DFMC. I walked up to his grave and noticed that the flowers my Mom left him on St. Patrick's day were still there. The red roses and the green carnation bleed into the moist ground. I spoke to my Dad for a few minutes and asked him for strength. Strength to do my best that day. Strength to run the best run I can on Marathon Monday. After a few minutes, I realized it was time to leave. I knew if I stayed longer I would never be able to run. I knew the tears would overwhelm me (as well as the cold wind). I started my run doing a combination run/walk. My first few miles flew by and before I knew it I was at my Dad's office. I stopped at my Dad's office only briefly to say hello, get some water and blow my nose. As I started my run again, I realized that stopping may not have been the best idea. I was cold, but knew I had a few more miles to run to get home. I ran the "beach way", the road that leads to my house that follows Long Island Sound. My Dad and Mom would always ask us which way we wanted to go. Without fail, we always said the beach way. I ran past the cottage my Mom, Dad, sister, and dog lived in when my father burned down our kitchen. I ran....
When I neared my house, I realized I wasn't done running. I continued to follow the road towards the golf course. At one point I heard a woman comment on the fact I was wearing shorts (she may have used the word crazy). Another 1.5 miles and I was near my house. I ran the last 15 minutes straight through and ended up running 8.5 miles.
I visited all of my Dad's favorite places. I know my Dad was with me during my run, just as I know he will be there on Monday, April 21st. I know he is always with me, giving me the inner strength I need to succeed in everything I do: even conquering a marathon.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Find your grail
Last week my sister Sandra presented me with a marathon training CD (better late than never).
Here is the play list:
"Find your grail", Spamalot
"Good vibrations", Beach Boys
"Raspberry beret", Prince
"We didn't start the fire", Billy Joel
"One way or another", Blondie
"Sex and candy", Marcy Playground
"Where'd you go?", Might Might Bosstones
"Sweetest thing", U2
"Any dream will do", Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat
"All star", Smash Mouth
"Life is a Highway", Tom Cochrane
"Sunday Bloody Sunday", U2
"Manic Monday", The Bangles
"Come on Eileen", Dexy's Midnight Runners
"Take me out", Franz Ferdinand
"Always look on the bright side of life", Spamalot
"Sweet Caroline", Neil Diamond
"When you believe", Mariah Carey from Prince of Egypt
"Eye of the tiger", Survivor
Here is the play list:
"Find your grail", Spamalot
"Good vibrations", Beach Boys
"Raspberry beret", Prince
"We didn't start the fire", Billy Joel
"One way or another", Blondie
"Sex and candy", Marcy Playground
"Where'd you go?", Might Might Bosstones
"Sweetest thing", U2
"Any dream will do", Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat
"All star", Smash Mouth
"Life is a Highway", Tom Cochrane
"Sunday Bloody Sunday", U2
"Manic Monday", The Bangles
"Come on Eileen", Dexy's Midnight Runners
"Take me out", Franz Ferdinand
"Always look on the bright side of life", Spamalot
"Sweet Caroline", Neil Diamond
"When you believe", Mariah Carey from Prince of Egypt
"Eye of the tiger", Survivor
My sister picked songs that fit me and my life perfectly. But my mother and sister had been talking about how my theme song was Find Your Grail. While I have seen Monty Python a number of times, I have not yet seen Spamalot. After listening to the song, I know it is the next musical I must see.
So what is my grail? My grail is running this marathon. My grail is my father and my grandmother. My grail is being able to do the impossible and being able to say I conquered my fears. My grail is all the people who have fought cancer, who are fighting cancer, and who will fight cancer in the future. My grail is running this marathon to fight cancer.
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