I am sitting here reading through previous posts, most specifically the posts right before and after the Boston Marathon. For some reason the one from April 20th really hit me....and I started doing something I haven't done in quite some time...I started crying.
What is this strange emotion? Is it because I am stressed out about my final exam? Is it because I've had an exhausting week of work and it is only Wednesday? Or is it because I can finally call myself a marathon runner, even if I never run another one again.... Or is it because I've come so far personally? Something no one will ever take away from me.
I'm not sure why, but I have an overwhelming rush of emotions. The only thing that makes sense to me right now though, is to go for a run.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
The last nerd standing
In high school, I dated athletes. In college I realized that although the athletes I dated were hot, their brain power was lacking. And though I never made a conscious effort to stop dating athletes, all of a sudden I was dating nerds. Now, don't get me wrong...nerds are hot!!! I'd rather a man with brains than a man with a killer body and nothing in his head (I'd actually rather a nerd with a killer body and an amazing personality, but I digress).
But here's my questions: What do you do when you become the nerd?
I admit I'm ultra competitive in everything I do. And more than that, I am a perfectionist (we can thank my mom for that). It comes out in everything I do, from work to cooking to playing soccer. And currently, my school work....
I am currently taking a Nutrition class at Simmons College. I am taking the class for free through work and although the material is hard, I am thoroughly enjoying it. We had our midterm this past Monday and it was much harder than I expected. Between the midterm and class discussion, I lamented to my professor how much harder the exam was than I expected. Her response was, "Well, I said before that grades truly fall on a bell curve". My response to her was, "Well, I want to be on the top of the bell curve" (I really meant I wanted to have the highest grade in the class which would have meant the far right side of the bell curve but you get what I mean). Her response was, "Marcy, you are a perfectionist." To which I replied, "I know." She then told me that that was what got her through her PHD.
Fast forward to Wednesday: She puts the grade breakdown on the board and starts to hand back the exams. Only four people scored in the 90-100 range.
What did I get??? A 96%!!!!
After class my teacher told me she was never worried about my grade. A feeling of content washed over me. Have I found my calling?? Am I really a science geek in athlete's clothing?
Can an athlete be a nerd or a nerd be an athlete? Can I be successful at being both?
For now, this athletic nerd is going to glow in her 96...that is until she takes the final next Wednesday.
But here's my questions: What do you do when you become the nerd?
I admit I'm ultra competitive in everything I do. And more than that, I am a perfectionist (we can thank my mom for that). It comes out in everything I do, from work to cooking to playing soccer. And currently, my school work....
I am currently taking a Nutrition class at Simmons College. I am taking the class for free through work and although the material is hard, I am thoroughly enjoying it. We had our midterm this past Monday and it was much harder than I expected. Between the midterm and class discussion, I lamented to my professor how much harder the exam was than I expected. Her response was, "Well, I said before that grades truly fall on a bell curve". My response to her was, "Well, I want to be on the top of the bell curve" (I really meant I wanted to have the highest grade in the class which would have meant the far right side of the bell curve but you get what I mean). Her response was, "Marcy, you are a perfectionist." To which I replied, "I know." She then told me that that was what got her through her PHD.
Fast forward to Wednesday: She puts the grade breakdown on the board and starts to hand back the exams. Only four people scored in the 90-100 range.
What did I get??? A 96%!!!!
After class my teacher told me she was never worried about my grade. A feeling of content washed over me. Have I found my calling?? Am I really a science geek in athlete's clothing?
Can an athlete be a nerd or a nerd be an athlete? Can I be successful at being both?
For now, this athletic nerd is going to glow in her 96...that is until she takes the final next Wednesday.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Maybe slower than the gingerbread man
Last night I went to my first track workout with team TNT. TNT is made up of mostly DFMC teammates and a few other friends. I have been unable to go to the workouts thus far, but have wanted to be a part of the group (it goes along with my team theory from a previous post). I also want to get faster, run harder, and remember why I love running.
I got to the track and was greeted by several familiar faces. Laurie explained the track workout to us while we waited for team captain Matt. As I listened to her all I could think was "What did I just get myself into? I have no idea what she is talking about?".
So here is what we were scheduled to do:
1 mile warm up (4 x 400 or 4 laps around the track)
3 x 400 (3 laps)
1 x 400 (at about 90%, speed trial pace (or something like that))
Based on your place for the last 400, you were matched with your partner for the rest of the run. The first place person matched with the last, etc.
I, of course, was last. I was matched with the first-time marathon qualifier Jeff.
The next plan was as follows:
6 x 400 each person (alternating runners)
1 lap stretch
6 x 400 each person (alternating runners)
The problem was that with the slowest person being placed with the fastest, the slow person would have less time to rest and be running the entire time.
Luckily, there was a solution. Mary-Ann and I teamed up and split up the running duties. This means we got twice the amount of time to rest and ran less. perfect solution.
Overall, I completed about 4-5 miles.
I was very worried about going to the track. I haven't been running very much and I know I am very very slow. So many of these runners are super stars and I wasn't sure what to expect. I've only been running 3-5 miles at most and only once or twice a week.
During my 400s, I listened to my breathing (and wheezing-damn asthma). I focused on my legs and my arms. I listened when a teammate passed me and cheered me on. I ran without a watch, without worrying about my speed, I just ran.
When I finished I felt great (perhaps a runners high?). While I didn't do the complete workout, I did what was right for me. I was happy to be out there. I was happy to be supported by friends. I am starting to remember why I used to love running.
Mr. Gingerbread Man, eat my dust!!!
I got to the track and was greeted by several familiar faces. Laurie explained the track workout to us while we waited for team captain Matt. As I listened to her all I could think was "What did I just get myself into? I have no idea what she is talking about?".
So here is what we were scheduled to do:
1 mile warm up (4 x 400 or 4 laps around the track)
3 x 400 (3 laps)
1 x 400 (at about 90%, speed trial pace (or something like that))
Based on your place for the last 400, you were matched with your partner for the rest of the run. The first place person matched with the last, etc.
I, of course, was last. I was matched with the first-time marathon qualifier Jeff.
The next plan was as follows:
6 x 400 each person (alternating runners)
1 lap stretch
6 x 400 each person (alternating runners)
The problem was that with the slowest person being placed with the fastest, the slow person would have less time to rest and be running the entire time.
Luckily, there was a solution. Mary-Ann and I teamed up and split up the running duties. This means we got twice the amount of time to rest and ran less. perfect solution.
Overall, I completed about 4-5 miles.
I was very worried about going to the track. I haven't been running very much and I know I am very very slow. So many of these runners are super stars and I wasn't sure what to expect. I've only been running 3-5 miles at most and only once or twice a week.
During my 400s, I listened to my breathing (and wheezing-damn asthma). I focused on my legs and my arms. I listened when a teammate passed me and cheered me on. I ran without a watch, without worrying about my speed, I just ran.
When I finished I felt great (perhaps a runners high?). While I didn't do the complete workout, I did what was right for me. I was happy to be out there. I was happy to be supported by friends. I am starting to remember why I used to love running.
Mr. Gingerbread Man, eat my dust!!!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
My New Mantra
We are all busy people. If you, my fine readers, are anything like me you take on too much. You like to be busy. You like to run from thing to thing to thing...or maybe it's just what you do.
In a meeting yesterday with my career coach, she provided me with my new Manta. She told me that 95% is ok...that sometimes we don't have time for 100%.
Very good is good enough
I need to strive not for perfection, but rather for good enough. I need to let go of the idea that the only way for things to be done is perfect. I need to believe that 95% is the very best and accept that there are not enough hours in the day for 100%. I need to remind myself of this when I get overwhelmed with school, and work, and life. I need to remind myself that no one is really perfect. Even me...
In a meeting yesterday with my career coach, she provided me with my new Manta. She told me that 95% is ok...that sometimes we don't have time for 100%.
Very good is good enough
I need to strive not for perfection, but rather for good enough. I need to let go of the idea that the only way for things to be done is perfect. I need to believe that 95% is the very best and accept that there are not enough hours in the day for 100%. I need to remind myself of this when I get overwhelmed with school, and work, and life. I need to remind myself that no one is really perfect. Even me...
Friday, June 6, 2008
Remembering that I love to sweat OR My new found love of soccer
During marathon training, I cut back on many of the other athletic activities I enjoy (soccer, yoga, weight training). Since the marathon, I have been trying to get back into some of those things. What I am really trying to do is remind myself how much I used to love working out. I used to love the feeling of my heart pounding, my legs screaming, my muscles aching. It gave me so much energy and so much enjoyment. I was definitely one of those people who would leave the gym dripping with sweat happier than before I went to the gym.
Now, I'm trying to remember what it felt like before the marathon. I'm trying to remember what it felt like to have a rush of endorphins. I'm trying to remember what activities I loved before my life only became running. I'm trying to remind myself that it is ok to only spend 30 minutes at the gym rather than three hours+ on the arc trainer.
I've tried some of the old standbys at the gym: Spinning, Rebounding, General Cardio, even a weight training class. And while I am enjoying those, it isn't the same. My IT Band still hurts. My toe is still stiff. I'm having to remember how to use my muscles in different ways. I'm remembering that there are people at the gym who drive me nuts (the girl making faces at herself in the mirror during class, the woman who will not follow the directions of the instructor).
And then there is soccer. My old love, my old flame...the one who has hurt me so many times and I keep coming back to for more. I've played two and a half games in the last week. My legs and body were hurting after. I even pulled my groin on Tuesday (something I did every preseason in high school). But I realized one thing....I love soccer. Maybe it is because we won 2 out of the 3 games. Or maybe it is because I am faster now. Maybe it is because I played really well. Maybe it was because other people acknowledged I played well. Maybe it was being part of a team again.
After weeks of struggling with working out, I found something that I love again. Something that makes me sweat. Something that makes me run and jump and cheer on my teammates. Perhaps my inability to latch on to another athletic activity is because I've been part of a team for so long. While running is often explained as a individual and solitary activity, it has become much more of a team event for me. While running on Marathon Monday was about me reaching my goal, I was surrounded by team members and friends every inch of the way. It is team members who have pushed me to work harder, run harder. It is team members who have picked me up when I was down or injured. It is being a part of something that encourages me to go on....
So, Soccer, my love, after months of avoiding you, I wish to rekindle this relationship. I will run hard, tackle hard, and maybe some day score a goal. I will roll in the mud when appropriate and not cringe when a little blood drips down my knee. I will enjoy the sun, and ignore my farmer's tan. I will be the best athlete I can be....and remember what is to be part of a team.
Now, I'm trying to remember what it felt like before the marathon. I'm trying to remember what it felt like to have a rush of endorphins. I'm trying to remember what activities I loved before my life only became running. I'm trying to remind myself that it is ok to only spend 30 minutes at the gym rather than three hours+ on the arc trainer.
I've tried some of the old standbys at the gym: Spinning, Rebounding, General Cardio, even a weight training class. And while I am enjoying those, it isn't the same. My IT Band still hurts. My toe is still stiff. I'm having to remember how to use my muscles in different ways. I'm remembering that there are people at the gym who drive me nuts (the girl making faces at herself in the mirror during class, the woman who will not follow the directions of the instructor).
And then there is soccer. My old love, my old flame...the one who has hurt me so many times and I keep coming back to for more. I've played two and a half games in the last week. My legs and body were hurting after. I even pulled my groin on Tuesday (something I did every preseason in high school). But I realized one thing....I love soccer. Maybe it is because we won 2 out of the 3 games. Or maybe it is because I am faster now. Maybe it is because I played really well. Maybe it was because other people acknowledged I played well. Maybe it was being part of a team again.
After weeks of struggling with working out, I found something that I love again. Something that makes me sweat. Something that makes me run and jump and cheer on my teammates. Perhaps my inability to latch on to another athletic activity is because I've been part of a team for so long. While running is often explained as a individual and solitary activity, it has become much more of a team event for me. While running on Marathon Monday was about me reaching my goal, I was surrounded by team members and friends every inch of the way. It is team members who have pushed me to work harder, run harder. It is team members who have picked me up when I was down or injured. It is being a part of something that encourages me to go on....
So, Soccer, my love, after months of avoiding you, I wish to rekindle this relationship. I will run hard, tackle hard, and maybe some day score a goal. I will roll in the mud when appropriate and not cringe when a little blood drips down my knee. I will enjoy the sun, and ignore my farmer's tan. I will be the best athlete I can be....and remember what is to be part of a team.
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