Remembering that I love to sweat OR My new found love of soccer

During marathon training, I cut back on many of the other athletic activities I enjoy (soccer, yoga, weight training). Since the marathon, I have been trying to get back into some of those things. What I am really trying to do is remind myself how much I used to love working out. I used to love the feeling of my heart pounding, my legs screaming, my muscles aching. It gave me so much energy and so much enjoyment. I was definitely one of those people who would leave the gym dripping with sweat happier than before I went to the gym.

Now, I'm trying to remember what it felt like before the marathon. I'm trying to remember what it felt like to have a rush of endorphins. I'm trying to remember what activities I loved before my life only became running. I'm trying to remind myself that it is ok to only spend 30 minutes at the gym rather than three hours+ on the arc trainer.

I've tried some of the old standbys at the gym: Spinning, Rebounding, General Cardio, even a weight training class. And while I am enjoying those, it isn't the same. My IT Band still hurts. My toe is still stiff. I'm having to remember how to use my muscles in different ways. I'm remembering that there are people at the gym who drive me nuts (the girl making faces at herself in the mirror during class, the woman who will not follow the directions of the instructor).

And then there is soccer. My old love, my old flame...the one who has hurt me so many times and I keep coming back to for more. I've played two and a half games in the last week. My legs and body were hurting after. I even pulled my groin on Tuesday (something I did every preseason in high school). But I realized one thing....I love soccer. Maybe it is because we won 2 out of the 3 games. Or maybe it is because I am faster now. Maybe it is because I played really well. Maybe it was because other people acknowledged I played well. Maybe it was being part of a team again.

After weeks of struggling with working out, I found something that I love again. Something that makes me sweat. Something that makes me run and jump and cheer on my teammates. Perhaps my inability to latch on to another athletic activity is because I've been part of a team for so long. While running is often explained as a individual and solitary activity, it has become much more of a team event for me. While running on Marathon Monday was about me reaching my goal, I was surrounded by team members and friends every inch of the way. It is team members who have pushed me to work harder, run harder. It is team members who have picked me up when I was down or injured. It is being a part of something that encourages me to go on....

So, Soccer, my love, after months of avoiding you, I wish to rekindle this relationship. I will run hard, tackle hard, and maybe some day score a goal. I will roll in the mud when appropriate and not cringe when a little blood drips down my knee. I will enjoy the sun, and ignore my farmer's tan. I will be the best athlete I can be....and remember what is to be part of a team.