When Life Gives you Lemons (or being the best)..an apology of sorts

We all have our moments and in the last week I have had a few of which I am not proud. Unfortunately, I can not say I had a bad run. Unfortunately, I can not say I spilled a cup of coffee on myself.

Unfortunately, I have to admit that I was not fair to myself and in turn not fair to someone else.

I pride myself on trying to be the best I can at all times. I know this is near impossible and I am in no way perfect. Sometimes I get cranky. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes I'm not nice and can be a b*tch. But as someone very wise told me the other day, we all have our moments. (Thanks EW)

I like to think of myself as a good person with a good heart. My sister told me today that I'm really nice and my friend Jana tells me all the time how caring I am towards other people. I admit I have a big heart and I all too often wear it on my sleeve. I have cared for people who do not deserve my love and friendship and not cared enough about others as much as I should.

The question is how do you find the balance? How do you be a good caring loving person in this world? How do you make sure you care about those who deserve it and not the rest?

By profession, my Dad had to care about all his patients. I remember being at his funeral and the number of people who came out to show their support and love for him: patients, friends, family. It was amazing and I remember vividly thinking "I hope someday I can be half the person he was. I hope I impact this many people's lives."

Was my Dad always a good person? No, he was human but he had a big heart. He cared about people and maybe like me, sometimes, a little too much. I have become the type of person who hates to cause other people pain because in turn it causes me pain. I hate the idea of hurting someone unintentionally and not being able to fix my mistakes. But more than that, I hate not being the best person I can be whether that's in my daily interactions or in how I respond to a stranger or even to an amazing caring friend. I hate not being my best because in the end it hurts others as well myself.

Someone once told me the following: Good is good enough.

Sometimes it is, but sometimes we need to try and be the best for ourselves.

But I also know that I am human and I need to not be so hard on myself when I let others down. I need to be able to forgive myself so that others can as well. When a situation does not go as planned, I need to try and make the best of it despite everything else. And when all else fails, just laugh. Laugh because it makes you smile. Laugh because it feels good. Laugh because sometimes its the only thing that makes sense.

And remember:

"When life gives you Lemons, Stick them in your bra (can't hurt, might help).