Dear Faithful Readers,
I owe you all an apology. I have not posted in over a week and a half. While I have had plenty of ideas for posts and even some milestones to share, I have simply been unable to write. The reasons for my lack of words cannot be traced to one thing. Perhaps it is because I'm stressed about work. Perhaps it is because I am frustrated with my injuries. Perhaps it is because I've lost the other original member of team injured, my workout partner Brenda (Brenda, I am so glad you can run again!!!) Perhaps it is because all I want to do is give up and run away. Perhaps it is because I didn't really grieve for my Dad on his birthday. I've been questioning everything in my life, even the things I am sure of. Yes, my friends I have been in a funk.
There is no other way to describe it. I've really wanted to walk away from everything and wash my hands clean. My friend Marisa agreed to run away with me to a Caribbean Island and leave it all behind. I know that isn't a solution but I've been uncertain about what else to do. I have lost sight of why I am training for this marathon and often feel like I am just going through the motions.
Today, though I had a moment of peace. Perhaps this was because I was aways from all of the stress. This morning, I was driving back to Boston from my Mom's house. Somewhere between Connecticut and Massachusetts, I had a feeling that I haven't had in quite sometime: peace and tranquility. I'm not sure how long this feeling will last or if it will, but for the last few hours it has all started make sense again. I'm not stressed about the marathon. I'm not worried about it. I'm actually kind of excited. I know I'm not in the same shape I was a month ago before I stopped running. I know that this race will take me longer than anticipated. I even know there is a slim chance I might not finish. But I'm OK with whatever comes my way on April 21, 2008. And to reward myself, I went for a run.
Yes, you read that right. I am back on the roads. I only ran about 3 miles today but it felt great. A little trouble with my knee on the hill, sore hamstrings, but a feeling of freedom. A feeling of peace. A feeling that no one will ever be able to take from me.
Today, I've found myself again. I am back. There may be more obstacles. There will definitely be more tears. All I need to remember is this feeling.
And so to my faithful readers, thank you for your on going support. I look forward to sharing the new, renewed Marcy with you.
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Track Marcy as she takes on training for her second Boston Marathon, fund raises for Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge, and tries to make sense of her life-all while having a sense of humor.
Help me fight cancer with DFMC
Why am I doing this?
This probably should have been my first posting. I am running the Boston Marathon as part of the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge team. The team is a group of over 500 who have come together for one cause: to create a world without cancer. You apply to run with the DFMC team and if chosen you raise money for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.
I may be crazy for taking on this endeavor, but this is something I must do. I am running this year in honor of my grandmother and in memory of my father. My grandmother was diagnosed with stomach and esophageal cancer in 2001. I am happy to report she has been cancer free for five years. She is an amazing woman and I am humbled and honored to run for her this year.
My father lost his 30 year battle with cancer in February 2007. He had so much hope throughout his illness. He was such a positive and caring man. He was an amazing father and friend to me that I now feel lost without him. This is the only way that I knew I could honor both of them. Please help support me in any way you can.
I may be crazy for taking on this endeavor, but this is something I must do. I am running this year in honor of my grandmother and in memory of my father. My grandmother was diagnosed with stomach and esophageal cancer in 2001. I am happy to report she has been cancer free for five years. She is an amazing woman and I am humbled and honored to run for her this year.
My father lost his 30 year battle with cancer in February 2007. He had so much hope throughout his illness. He was such a positive and caring man. He was an amazing father and friend to me that I now feel lost without him. This is the only way that I knew I could honor both of them. Please help support me in any way you can.
1 comment:
um...moving to the caribbean TOTALLY is a solution! you can't take that away from me!! lol...
good for you, marcy. i'm glad you're back on the roads and the chances of you not finishing are not slim. if we have to carry you over the line we will! if you're anything like me, the long drive by yourself helped with that tranquil feeling. sometimes, when stuff gets to be too much for me i just drive. i drive by myself and i think. terrible for the environment but great for my head.
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