Birthday wishes and green jello shots

This blog post started out as a letter to my father. His birthday was March 15th and his favorite holiday, St. Patrick's Day was two days later. When I sat down to write the post, I couldn't figure out what to say. This was all I came up with:

Happy Belated Birthday, Dad!! How does it feel to be 59, you old man?!?! You don't look a day over.....hmmmm...58!!!. Sorry for the belated birthday wishes...I had a dessert and drinks party on Saturday, March 15th (your birthday). The party was successful. We raised over $500 for Dana-Farber!!! It was a great.

And then I blanked. All last week I had thoughts of what I wanted to say to him. But when it came down to writing it-nothing came out. My friend Lauren who is also a DFMC member put it the best in her Valentine's Day blog: http://krzyrunner.blogspot.com/2008/02/call-of-whoopie.html. Lauren says that it is not the days you expect to be difficult, but rather those random moments when you think of the person that hit you so hard.

One of my Dad's friends told me that there are days when he thinks about him all day and then there are days when he is so busy he doesn't even enter his thoughts. I know how much my Dad meant to so many people and that is evident by the donations I have received. I miss him so much and some days are better than others. It is those random days that get to me: when a song comes on my IPOD or I see a father's day card. Or when I just want to ask him what he had to eat for lunch (something that became our routine in the end). It hits me that I do not have a Dad who is physically present anymore.

So although my birthday letter to my Dad was a flop, I did exactly what he would have wanted on his birthday. I had a dessert and drinks fundraising party. I raised over $500 that day alone for Dana-Farber. I know he was there that day, enjoying the party. It was exactly the type of party he would have thrown for himself. I know he wouldn't have missed it for the world.

A belated happy birthday Dad. I love you.