This entry was written during my funk last week. I had an awful subway ride into work and this is what came of it. Although I'm in a much better place this week since my inner peace and happiness has returned, I thought it only appropriate to include it now. Hope you have a good laugh!!!
Perhaps it is me being overly sensitive, but people are inconsiderate and oblivious. I'm sick of being squished into subway seats, having people step on me, hit me with their bags, and have excessively loud cell phone conversations. So to remedy these problems, I have created a new set of rules for the T....
# 1) If you are too large to fit into one seat, do not take up two seats. You are required to stand and for that matter, you should be exercising more and eating less.
# 2) If you fail to observe rule #1 and decide to sit, the passenger on whom you are sitting has every right to elbow you. Repeatedly.
# 3) If you are sick or bleeding-please stay home. Everyone on that train will have to breathe your sick air. Please cover your mouth when you cough, please sneeze into a tissue, elbow, anywhere but your hand. And please carry sanitizing lotion.
#4) If you feel it necessary to ignore #3, please do not put your germy hands all over everything on the train and please do not sneeze on anyone.
#5) If you must talk on your cell phone (and we all do it), please be aware of your volume. There are inside and outside voices-please use the appropriate one for the subway (psst...that's your inside voice). I do not need or want to hear about your weekend escapades.
#6) Please be aware of your surroundings. Thousands of people commute to work using public transportation. Please realize you are not the only one-Your elbow, bag, and purse are often in someone else's face, eyes, stomach, chest, etc. If you can not be responsible or aware of your personal belongings or space, please go back to middle school where no one was aware of their bodies.
#7) Please let all passengers off the train before you board. If you are in such a rush and need to push people out of the way to get that perfect seat, please wait until an empty train arrives. You may be waiting all eternity, but at least you will not be in any one's way.
If you are unable to comply with these rules, you will be immediately removed from the subway by ME!!! I will have no problem telling you where to find a good gym, sending you to the sick ward, telling you where to shove your phone, bag, whatever you just stuck into my eye, or simply pushing you back down the stairs.
REMEMBER!!! Courtesy Counts.
Thank you for your patience and thank you for riding the T.
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2 comments:
And please "Mind the Gap. Doors will open on both sides."
Marc- you are too much for words. You would hate to be on a NYC subway during rush hour :-). But I will tell you that down here in the big apple there were some subway laws passed for just such events you suggest. Cops are supposed to ticket people who take up more than one seat. You can receive a ticket for an open coffee cup that could spill onto another person, and you can most stupidly receive a ticket if you have too many bags (ie.suitcase, briefcases, purses, etc.) that take up too much room. Nothing like NYers trying to make an extra buck...
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